With this one, lyricist Talysman The Ur-Beatle was looking to write a song that XTC would cover on the Interrobang Cartel Tribute Album (there’s nothing like practical planning). The music I wrote to go with it is probably a little too tortured to be genuinely XTCish; Misters Moulding and Partridge would have far more simple and elegant solutions to hand. Still, why not, eh? Besides, I like the bridge.
paper-flat canines, antique kennel,
gilt-framed dogs frozen in their love,
eight by ten glossies
never need walkies
and never chew your glove.
no plastic covers for the couch,
no need for muzzle or chain,
in my experience
airbrushed obedience
never leaves a stain.
staffordshire bull terrier portraits on the wall!
they never bark at strangers, they refuse to chase the ball!
staffordshire bull terrier portraits I admire!
photographic goodness equals puppy love for hire!
when all the world’s a biscuit
and it sometimes tastes like chicken,
canine photos
never eat alpo,
never watch the gravy thicken.
no tiny connastoga wagons
racing across the floor,
and tasty meats
are people treats
that portraits can ignore.
bull terrier!
aware of your
care!
dog imagery!
so willing to
share!
portraits on my wall,
reflecting petlike maze,
I melt like a rubber ball
beneath their canine gaze!
staffordshire bull terrier portraits on the wall!
they never bark at strangers, they refuse to chase the ball!
staffordshire bull terrier portraits I admire!
photographic goodness equals puppy love for hire!