Obviously Alexander Downer was always going to have a bit of a Frank-N-Furter time of it. Cam Rogers’ inspired opening-line suggestion plugged into that beautifully, and he inhabited the role for the entire Drowsy run, flashing his perfect pins and wicked grins for all to see. It ended up being the most-travelled role in the show – I did it early in the Belvoir season, Eddie Perfect turned it into about three terrific set-pieces and Brendan Coustley brought it on home. The term “greasy-cheeked freak” was at least partly inspired by RRR’s Breakfasters. Always great fun with a band keen to make it fonky.
FreakyLook at me, I’m Alexander D
Opposition Leader – now how’d that come to be?
No idea, I woke up and I was here
Lookin’ like a superstar and feelin’ queer.
Old money – and I’m a master of debate
Five minutes – and I might just meet my fate.
‘Cos I’m too freaky
I’m a greasy-cheeked freak
A leader of tomorrow, but I won’t be ’round next week
‘Cos I’m too freaky
Twisted to the bone
And I’m thinkin’ that I’m sinkin’ like a stone…
But it’s a chance in a million
That led me to this place
It’s destiny that you and me
Should square off face to face
PAUL KEATING: That’s lovely, Alexander, and may the best man win.
DOWNER: Ah, fuck me, I’ve got Buckley’s in the state I’m in – pull the pin!
Look at you, you don’t know what to do
Never thought a man could be so Lib’ral through and through
Yes I know, they wanna drag me back below
But I’ve got the things that batter – matter – bugger – there I go!
Way looney – like Screamin’ Lord Sutch
They’ll screw me – I’m just much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much too freaky!
I’m a greasy-cheeked freak
A leader of tomorrow, but I won’t be ’round next week
‘Cos I’m too freaky
Utterly defiled
C’mon, Australia, let’s get wild, wild, wild
I’m too freaky…